I'm Not a Freak, I Swear!
by buttsuma
Summary: After moving away from Konoha for 11 years, Naruto and his family decide to move back but he's not the same little blonde girl he was from before... wait what? What will people think when they see a hot blonde boy instead of the adorable yellow haired ball of sunshine that everyone had come to love. SasuNaru. Trans!Naru (female - male). Drug/Alcohol use.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Wooooo so this is my first fic and it's probably gonna suck reALLLY bad but it would be awesome if you guys liked it so yeah. Enjoy the story c:

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Ch. 1

Azure eyes were looking through the car window, watching the world go by.

_"I can't believe I'm going back. It's been so long. I wonder how everyone's changed. I bet they won't even remember me."_

Deep in thought, the boy didn't hear his mother calling him.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" His mother yelled.

"Sorry, I was just spacing out." said seventeen year old Naruto, still looking out the window. He deeply sighed and turned to his mother. "What were you saying?"

His mother shook her head and smiled softly. She just couldn't stay mad at her little angel.

"I was saying that when we get to the new… -er, I mean our old house, I want you to help Minato unpack and put everything away. I want the house looking perfect the moment I wake up the next day." She said, almost too gleefully.

Minato is Naruto's father and best friend. They looked like they could be twins. Both had spikey blonde hair, and bright blue eyes that had people falling head over heels for them. The only difference between the two, (besides the age difference), were the six whisker-like scars on Naruto's face, three on each cheek.

The older blonde looked over to his wife and smiled. She was still rambling about how everything should look and where everything should go in their new, or should he say old house. He was still wondering how he was so lucky to have found her. She was the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen. Long, scarlet hair that reached past her waist and beautiful, violet-blue eyes that stood out against her fair skin. He couldn't help but fall in love with her the moment he laid his eyes upon her.

"Come on Kushina, be easy on Naru, he's probably tired beyond belief. It's been a long day. Why don't we rest and unpack tomorrow when we're fresh and full of energy." Minato said to his wife, praying to whatever god who heard him first, to get not only himself, but his son out of doing house work for at least a day.

Kushina rolled her eyes and looked back at her husband. "You're lucky you're pretty, you know?"

The so-called pretty one chuckled and looked over at his wife, "Yeah, I know."

While their bickering went on, Naruto couldn't help but smile. He loved his parents. He really did. Everything they did was for him. He could trust them with anything; tell them anything, because he would know they would understand. Ever since that day, he knew they would love him no matter what.

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(flashback)

_-6 year old Naruto-_

_"Mom, Dad, why am I a girl?" Naruto asked, looking innocent as ever._

_This question took his parents aback. What was he trying to say?_

_"Well sweetie, because that's the way you were born." his mother replied to him, with a confused look on her face._

_"But I wanna be a boy. Girls are icky, I like boys better! I feel like a boy even though I look like a girl, but I don't know why." Naruto pouted while looking down, his bright blonde locks falling in front of his eyes._

_Minato kneeled down to his daughter's height sighed. "Naruko," he called him by his birth name "is that what you really want? Because, if you say 'yes' then you can't change your mind."_

_Naruto looked up at his father. There were many emotions going through his cerulean eyes, the two most dominant being love and understanding. It made Naruto feel more confident, knowing that his father would accept him as a boy. He looked over at his mother and instantly looked back down to the floor. She looked angry and confused. _

_"Naruko, what do you mean you don't want to be a girl? You ARE a girl. You can't just not be a girl.", Kushina snapped. "You're my little princess, nothing more, nothing less. I can't accept what trying to say. It just doesn't make sense."_

_Naruto flinched at his mother's tone, but stood his ground nonetheless. "But mom, I don't want to be a girl. I feel all weird wearing dresses and having long hair. It looks ugly on me and I don't want to be ugly. Won't you love me just as much if I was a boy?" Naruto whimpered. He was on the verge of tears. If he knew his mother would react this way, he would have kept his mouth shut. He didn't want her to hate him. _

_ Kushina was at a loss of words. She didn't mean to react so harshly against her daughter, especially knowing that Naruto felt ugly as a girl. "Naru listen," The redhead said softly, "it's just this is a lot to take in. I'm sorry for getting so mad at you. I don't want you to think that I won't love you if you were a boy. It's just that I've always seen you as my little princess. But I guess just have to get used to get used to my princess being a prince." She smiled softly and hugged her daughter. "If you want to be a boy that bad, I guess I'll just have to accept it. My love for you will never change no matter what."_

_Naruto looked at his mother with big eyes and then back at his father. He couldn't believe it. His parents were okay with his confession and actually supportive of him. He didn't think that something like that could be possible. "I love you guys so much" he whispered, then hugged them both as tight as possible. _

(end flashback)

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Naruto was so deep in thought that he didn't realize that they were already pulling up to the driveway of their new home. It looked exactly as it did back when he was little. It gave him sort of nostalgic feeling, looking up at the house.

The moment he got out of the car, he was tackled to the ground by a mop of red hair who was none other than his older brother, Kyuubi.

Kyuubi and Naruto looked nothing alike. He was 4 years older than him, and had red hair, just like his mothers, only his was more of a maroon than a scarlet color and spiked up just like Naruto's. He had violet-blue eyes just like his mother too. But that's where their differences stopped. They might not look the alike, but Naruto and Kyuubi were two peas in a pod. They were both loud, and energetic with massive amounts of stamina that came from who-knows-where. They were also the biggest trouble makers in the world, and if put together, would only cause disaster. The two brothers were also very close, and told each other things they wouldn't ever tell their parents.

"Kyuuuuuuuuuuuu, I can't breathe." Naruto whined.

His brother stared laughing and got up. "I missed you so much otouto!"

"It's only been six months aniki" said the blonde, while getting up and dusting the dirt off his clothes.

The redhead then looked at his younger brother with a hint of excitement running through his eyes. "That's still a long ass time Naru! We have to hit up the clubs as soon as you unpack. You also have to meet my friends. I told them all about you and they really want to meet you!"

"Dude, Kyuu, how are we going to get into any clubs when I'm only seventeen. I don't even have a fake I.D., let alone mom and dad would KILL you if you took me to a place that sold booze."

Kyuubi just chuckled at his brother, "You're such a buzzkill now. What happened between those six months after I left?"

For only a moment, Naruto's eyes darkened, which didn't go unnoticed by his brother. He replied quickly without looking at his brother. "Nothing happened, I just realized that maybe I should be careful of my actions and not doing anything that might screw up my future."

This made the redhead confused on many levels. He had a look of concern written all over his face. "Hey, Naru, seriously though, what happened? You know you can tell me anything right?"

"Yeah, I know. Can I tell you later though? I'm super tired and I just want to get some sleep." The younger boy yawned.

"Yeah sure, no probs otouto. Hey, why don't you come over to my place and crash there? Then we can come back here, I'll help you unpack, and then we can go meet my friends. OH! We can also register you for Konoha High. How does that sound?" asked Kyuubi, with some hope lingering in his question.

Naruto grinned at his brother, "Yeah, that sounds awesome nii-san. I'll go tell mom and dad." And with that, the blonde ran into the house to grab his things and tell his parents of his plans.

Ten minutes later, Naruto ran out of the house and opened the door to Kyuubi's car. It was a fire-red 1969 Chevy Camaro, it was his prized possession and as he called it, his "baby girl". As they pulled out of the driveway, Naruto struck up small conversation. He couldn't deal with silent car rides.

"So how have things been going since you moved back here Kyuu?" asked the blonde.

"Everything's actually been going really good. I mean, I'm glad that I'm back here. Suna just wasn't as great as Konoha even if we lived most of our lives there. Wayyyyyyyyy too hot for my tastes" replied the redhead.

"Yeah, we didn't really have a choice though at the time. We were still really young and it was because of dad's work that we had to move. I kind of liked it there though, or I guess I only liked it because of Gaara. I'm sure gonna miss him." Looking out the window, Naruto sighed. Konoha didn't change much from what he remembered, besides the fact that it's been 12 years since he's been back.

"Yeah, you guys were best friends huh? Did he know you were transgender, Kit?"

"Yeah he did. He kinda found out the first day we met, but he didn't really care and I guess that's how our friendship blossomed."

"I'm glad you were able to make friends back in Suna. The people there were different from the people here. Remember that Uchiha kid? And that Haruno chick? They're dating now. Super different from when we were kids too. Uchiha's turned into some sort of bastard-man-slut and Haruno thinks she's the hottest bitch in town just 'cos they're dating. It's funny 'cos he'll probably dump her in a couple of weeks. I know you guys were best friends till the end back then, but things have changed. I know you've changed a lot too."

Naruto was shocked at hearing what his brother had just told him. Sasuke was a man slut and Sakura was a bitch? AND they were dating? He couldn't believe it. He sat there quiet for a moment before turning to his brother to ask him a question. "Wait, what do you mean that I've changed a lot too. The only thing that's happened was that tattoo I got back in 7th grade. Mom and dad weren't too happy about it. After that my rebel days ended. And how do you know about Sasuke and Sakura? Are talking to Itachi again or something?"

Kyuubi just sighed at his brothers endless questions. "As if your rebel days have ended. I saw some Mary J in your bag, and some ciggs too. You know mom and dad won't like that. And yeah, me and Ita are talking again."

Naruto was quite. He didn't know how to answer his brother at first. "Well I, uh, um. GAHHH I don't know Kyuu. Mom and Dad know about me smoking. They were mad at first but they can't do anything about it anymore. The therapist actually thought that the marijuana might help me a bit so they don't really care. And am I going to see Itachi tomorrow when meeting your new friends? Will Sasuke be there too?"

By this time, Kyuubi had driven up to his apartment and turned off the car. "I wish you told me you started smoking. I hope you stop though. You used to tell me everything. Is there anything else you're hiding from me? And no, Itachi's busy tomorrow and I don't know about Sasuke. You'll probably only end up meeting Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan."

Naruto got out of the car and stalked up to his brother's apartment. "No, I'm not hiding anything else from you. Wait no, actually there is something." The younger brother inquired.

"Well what is it?" Kyuubi questioned.

"The only reason we came back to Konoha is because I got kicked out of school for fighting, other than that, you know everything." The blonde teen answered.

Kyuubi opened the door to his apartment and flicked the lights on. "Oh. So what started the fight?"

Blue eyes darkened and Naruto's hands clenched into fists. "I don't want to talk about it." Then he headed into the kitchen to make some food. His brother loved ramen just as much as he did so he didn't have to worry about starving when staying at his place.

The redhead just stayed quiet and went to his room. "Hey Kit, you sleepin' in my room or on the couch?"

Naruto came out of the kitchen with a cup of instant ramen and looked at his brother. "I'll crash on the couch I guess." Then he went back to slurping up his ramen.

Later that night, Naruto couldn't help but think about Sasuke and Sakura and what would happen when they saw each other again.

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** AN:** Thanks for reading c: please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thank you for the reviews, you guys are awesome! c: but anyway, i'm gonna be really shitty about updating on time because of finals and everything so i'm posting chapter two today. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone and everyone belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Damn that man.

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Ch. 2

"WAKE UP YOU LAZY FUCK!" Kyuubi all but screamed at his brother.

"hjdskf skdjffhgmrhtm" mumbled the blonde, still half asleep and squinting his eyes at the bright lights surrounding the room.

"WHACHYA SAY? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!"

"I SAID LET ME SLEEP FOR TEN MORE FUCKING MINUTES, STUPID PRICK" Naruto yelled, covering his face with his blanket.

"GET UPPPPPPP I MADE YOU BREAKFAST AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO THE HOUSE AND UNPACK ALL THE SHIT AND MAKE THE HOUSE LOOK 'PERFECT'" Kyuubi yelled back, just then a great thought came to his mind. He grabbed the blanket that Naruto rolled himself into a fat burrito with and yanked it off the blonde, causing him to fall off the couch.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR DIPSHIT?!" Naruto threw his pillow at his brother who easily dodged it.

"I said, we have to get going and since you wouldn't get your lazy ass off my couch I did the next best thing to wake you up.", Shrugged the readhead, cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"I hate you, ya'know?" The younger brother muttered.

"Eh, you love me so shut up and get dressed so we can get going and finish unpacking early. When you're done putting your clothes on, come and eat." Kyuubi said while heading into the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah I'm goin'" Naruto said, getting up off the floor and heading into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When he got out of the shower, Naruto dried his hair which automatically spiked up like it has all his life, and put his clothes on. As much as he loved showers, he also hated them. He hated how he'd have to look at himself in the mirror every day and see that he was still very much female. He hated his breasts. They were small, but still there. He hated his lack of penis. He hated his vagina. He hated periods. He hated the thought that he could be pregnant. He hated binding up his breasts every day. He hated all of it. Why couldn't god just put a cock between his legs for Christ sake?

Sighing to himself, he walked into the kitchen, grabbing the ramen that his brother made and shoveled it into his mouth. _"God this is heaven"_, the blonde moaned, making seconds for himself.

"Slow down there Kit, you're gonna get a stomach ache and then you can't unpack and mom will be on my ass about you getting sick, and you also won't be able to meet any of my friends who soooooooo desperately want to meet you." Kyuubi said, coming back into the kitchen and grabbing the bowl out of his younger brothers' hands.

"Are you actually being serious right now Kyuu? You know first-hand how I can down 10 large bowls of ramen in 20 minutes." The blonde tried to grab his ramen back from his brother, but the redhead simply poured it down the drain.

"Naru, if you don't put your shoes on in ten seconds, I'll shove your face down the toilet."

Naruto, not wanting to call his brothers bluff, quickly put his shoes on and ran out the door.

Though the moment he stepped out the door, he ran into a hard body and they both fell to the ground, with the blonde on top of this new mystery person. Naruto quickly realized what had happened and scrambled to get himself up off the ground, helping this man who he didn't know up as well. He took a quick look at the man. He was about the same height as the blonde, maybe a couple inches taller, he had an interesting hair color, it was grey, almost silver, and sleeked back. His eyes were a beautiful and vibrant, violet color, that trapped the viewer in their gaze. All in all, he was a babe.

"Ahhh fuck kid, what the hell is wrong with you?" said the man in an annoyed voice.

"Hey, calm down Hidan, this is my brother, the one I was telling you about." the redhead answered.

"THIS IS YOUR BROTHER? HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST FUCKING HIM. HE'S FUCKIN' BABEN" Hidan borderline screamed. "Yo, sorry kid, didn't mean to be so harsh." The silver haired man nervously laughed, scratching the back of his head. "It's nice to meet 'cha, the name's Hidan." he said, extending his arm out implying for the blonde to shake his hand.

"Uhh hi, I'm Naruto. It's nice to meet you too." the youngest of the three replied, taking Hidan's hand cautiously and shaking it.

"Since we're done with the introductions, can you tell me why you're here?" Kyuubi asked the silver haired man.

"I thought we were hangin' out. You said you had time today."

"Shit," the redhead said "I totally forgot. Fuck, sorry Hidan. My brother just got back yesterday and I was only thinking about him so I just forgot." Kyuubi chuckled.

"Hey, it's alright, don't worry about it. What are you guys doing right now?" Hidan said, looking at beautiful blonde in front of him.

Naruto swore he could see Hidan undressing him and he felt really uncomfortable.

"We're going back to my parent's house to help them unpack. You can come too if you want. Then after we could go and meet up with Sasori and Deidara." Kyuubi looked over to Hidan "Oh, by the way, Naru-chans trans so you can stop fucking him in your mind"

Hidan was shocked to say the least. "YOU'RE TRANS? HOLY SHIT I TOTALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE BIOLOGICALLY MALE. Damn, you pull it off really good. Anyway now that I know, I won't have to ask you how big your dick is." Hidan laughed at his joke and then looked at Naruto who looked like he wanted to make a mad dash out of the apartment, "but seriously, that's really cool. I have mad respect for you."

Naruto not knowing how to answer this just nodded and after a moment of silence replied to the man he just met "Thanks. I thought you'd call me a freak or something so thanks for accepting me I guess" the blonde said, looking at Hidan and gave him his biggest and brightest smile that took the older man's breath away.

"Yeah, no probs kiddo." he clapped his hand on the shorter males shoulder. "So we should get going, yeah?"

The 3 of them get into the car and head over to the house and help unpack all the boxes. Once they're done, they hang out in the living room, sprawled out on the couches, tired beyond belief. Kushina walks into the living room with sandwiches and lemonade.

"You guys worked hard so I thought I'd make you something to eat. Thanks for all your help boys" she sets the food and beverages on the table and heads over to them and gives them all a quick kiss on their heads and smiles.

Naruto stood up after his mother left and went outside for a smoke. He was thinking a lot about Sasuke and Sakura lately. He was scared of what they'd think of him. He didn't want them to think he was a freak. He'd had enough of that back in Suna. He just wanted to be friends with them again, like when they were all still toddlers. Taking a drag from his cigarette, he didn't hear Hidan or Kyuubi come outside.

"Hey, wanna hook up a fellow friend?" Hidan asked jokingly.

"Yeah, sure." Naruto pulled out his pack and handed Hidan a cigarette, then lighted it for him.

"Thanks man, really needed that." the silver haired man then took a drag from his cancer stick and blew out the smoke.

"Sure." The blonde said, doing the same thing.

"Hey, are you alright Kit?" Kyuubi asked his younger brother, a little concerned about the far off look in his eyes.

"Not really. I've been thinking a lot about going back to school here lately. I don't really think I want to anymore." said Naruto, taking another puff from his cigarette.

"Why not? You seemed excited about it yesterday." the redhead pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was yesterday. What if Sasuke and Sakura don't accept me? What if they think I'm a freak? I don't know what I'd do. I usually don't care what people think of me, but they were my best friends back then. Aniki, I don't want to be a freak." The blonde said, finishing off his cigarette and stepping on it.

"Hey kid, don't worry about it 'kay? If those dicks give you any trouble just let me know. I'll always have your back kid. And your brother's here too. I don't think he'd stand for having his baby bro being bullied or whatever." Hidan said with a smile.

Naruto couldn't help but smile back, his eyes were back to being as bright as the sky, if not brighter. "Thanks. You guys are the best. Anyways, I'm hungry. Can we go back and eat those sandwiches?"

Hidan put out his cigarette and silently agreed with Naruto and the three of them went back inside.

Plopping down on the couch, Kyuubi took a bite out of his sandwich and then turned to his brother. "Hey sooooooooooooooo do you want to go register for Konoha High after we're done eating?"

Naruto sighed and drank some of his lemonade. "Yeah I guess, it's better to get it over with sooner than later."

The three of them stood up and grabbed their dishes to put away in the kitchen. Once they were done, they left the house and got into Kyuubi's car and made their way to Konoha High. Konoha High was a big school. It was also the best in the country and incredibly hard to get in. They only reason Naruto was able to get in by just registering was because his Godmother was the schools headmaster and knew that Naruto was a good student… when he wanted to be that is.

As they drove up to the school, Naruto was getting nervous. He didn't know why, but his stomach was churning in knots. He had a bad feeling about coming back. He didn't know why, he just did. Stepping inside the school, the three made their way to the school's main office.

"Why'd you tag along again Hidan?" Kyuubi asked in an annoyed voice.

"Moral support." Hidan shrugged.

As they entered the office, the three took notice of a woman sitting behind the desk. She was very attractive and was of average build and height. She was fair skinned with short black hair that was about shoulder length and big black eyes. She looked up at the three and gave them a sweet smile.

"Hello, my name is Shizune, I'm the school secretary. Is there anything I can help you with?" The dark haired woman asked in an over friendly way.

"Uhh… yeah, so is the principal here or whatever." Kyuubi asked in an almost bored tone.

"Uh, yes. One moment please." Shizune said, getting up from behind the desk and walked down the small hallway behind her. She came back about 5 minutes later, ushering the boys down the same hallway to the principal's office. "Tsunade-sama, the three people who have wished to see you are here."

"Send em' in" answered a loud and stern voice.

The three boys walked into the room and sat down. Behind the desk of the spacious room sat the principal of the school. She was a beautiful woman, with light blonde hair and captivating amber eyes. She also had a very large bust and looked younger than she really was. She and the two Uzumaki siblings, oddly enough, had a lot of history. In fact, she was their godmother, while her husband, who went by the name of Jiraiya, was their godfather. The blonde woman looked at the three boys in front of her, mainly paying attention to the two brothers and smirked.

"Oh my, and to whom do I owe the pleasure of seeing you two again." She said in an amusing voice, crossing her arms and leaned back in her chair.

"Well you see baa-chan, we're here to enroll Naruto in your school." Kyuubi said with a sly grin.

"Don't call me that gaki!" she yelled, throwing a book at the redhead who easily dodged the projectile.

"Jeez man, if I knew there was gonna be a fight, I would've waited in the car." Hidan said, more to himself than the others.

Kyuubi heard his remark but decided to ignore it. Instead, he looked at his brother who seemed to be lost in thought again. "Ne, otouto, are you okay?" the redhead asked, and immediately all eyes were pinned on the blonde.

"Huh? Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." Naruto then looked up and saw that all eyes were on him. "What the hell are you all staring at?"

"Gaki, we're staring at you. What happened to the loud-mouth knucklehead that bitched at me the moment he stepped into the same room as me?" Tsunade replied to the younger blonde's question.

"Ugh, can you guys just leave me alone, I'm fucking fine. Nothing's wrong, so if we could just get this stupid enrollment shit over with, then that would be fucking splendid." Naruto snapped.

Naruto, being fed up with everyone asking him if he's fine, got up and left the office. He was furious. What makes them think that he's not fine? Just because he wasn't paying attention for 10 minutes didn't mean jack shit. Stepping outside the building, he took out his pack of cigarettes and fumbled with his lighter for a bit before finally lighting his tobacco stick and inhaling the cancerous smoke. He immediately calmed down when he felt the rush that he needed. He stood there for another 10 minutes, finishing his cigarette and then put it out with his foot when he was done. He walked back into the building, feeling better than he did before. Naruto entered Tsunade's office once again, and sat down.

"I'm better now." Naruto said, leaning back into the chair.

"And we're done with your enrollment here. But I do have to tell you some things Naruto." The busty woman looked at her godchild and waited for his full undivided attention before continuing. "This is very important so LISTEN CAREFULLY. Because of your situation, you will have your own changing room for gym class, and you'll be allowed to use the staff restrooms as well, though it is your choice if you would like to use these resources or not. Make your decision now."

Naruto stayed silent for a bit and hesitated with his answer. If he were to use his own dressing room or his own bathroom, would everyone think of him as weird or as if he had some sort of problem? But then again, what if he was to go into the boy's locker room and they found out he was biologically female and what if they tried to jump him and rape him? Or if he went into the girl's locker room and they automatically assumed he was fully male, would they freak out and kick him out, screaming at him and calling him a pervert? The blonde decided to take the safe route and go for everyone thinking of him as a freak instead of a perv.

When everything was settled, the three boys were about to leave, but were stopped when they heard the busty woman's voice.

"Oi gaki, I want you in my office before school on the first day, alright?"

"Yeah yeah whatever you want old hag." Naruto said, running out of the office laughing as a potted plant was hurled out of the room.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT."

The three boys left the building and Kyuubi turned to Hidan.

"Dude, what was up with you in there? You were so quiet. I was amazed you could even stay quiet for more than 2 seconds." The redhead said with a chuckle.

"You would be too if you didn't know the woman. Holy shit man, I thought I was gonna die." Hidan borderline shrieked. "Next time we have to come here for some dumb reason, I'm waiting in the car." He stormed off, mumbling to himself while Kyuubi and Naruto burst out in laughter.

"So whereto now?" Naruto asked, once they all got in the car.

"I was thinking maybe you could meet Sasori and Deidara now." Kyuubi answered.

"Uhh, yeah okay." The blonde replied sheepishly. He really hated meeting new people. He didn't know why, but ever since he started identifying himself as male, he just had this weird thing about.

"Fuck yeah!" Hidan fist pumped into the air, extremely excited. "Trust me Naru-chan, you're going to love them."

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Review please! c:


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **woo so idk it's been a while since i last updated bc of finals and school but i finally finished this chapter and i hope you like it! enjoy! c:

**Disclaimer:** I don't own naruto or anyone. if i did they'd be my personal sex slaves.

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Ch. 3

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ART IS A FUCKIN' EXPLOSION UN!"

"WRONG. ART IS ETERNAL BEAUTY!"

Naruto groaned. He'd been here for hours, and the majority of the time was spent arguing over art. All he wanted to do was go home, have a nice bath, and maybe get a little high.

"NARU-CHAN AGREES WITH ME. RIGHT? YOU TOTALLY THINK ART'S AN EXPLOSION UN!"

Never mind, scratch that. He was going to get fucking baked.

The only thing keeping him from ripping everyone's throats out was that Kyuubi promised him Ichiraku ramen before going home. He hadn't had Ichiraku's in forever. His mouth was just watering thinking about it. Man oh man, how he missed his ramen.

Kyuubi looked at his younger sibling and noticed the far off look in his eyes. Chuckling to himself, he knew exactly what the little fox was thinking about.

"Hey Kit, ready to go? Ramen shop is closing up soon."

Just hearing the words "ramen" and "closing" in the same sentence was enough to have Naruto out the door within seconds.

"Wait, you guys are leaving already un?" asked Deidara, though still yammering on about how "fine art is the beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion" and other nonsence.

Naruto stood by the door observing Deidara while waiting for his brother. Deidara held Naruto's interest when he first arrived. The male was around 19, and lean in stature. He was at an average height, around 5'5". He had long blonde hair that he kept in a ponytail atop his head, though his bangs covered one of his eyes, which where a unique blueish-purpleish color. He was quite attractive. Naruto would admit to at least that much. He got really annoying though when he started talking about art. It was like that with Sasori too.

Sasori was Deidara's flat mate, who also loved art, though he perceived it differently from his blonde friend. He was a bit short and looked way younger than his initial age. He had nice shade of brown eyes and deep red hair. He was too, attractive, but like Deidara, was annoying the moment the word "art" slipped past his lips.

"Yeah, I promised to take Naru-chan to dinner and I'm pretty sure he's starving by now." Kyuubi answered the blonde artist.

"Well, alright. See you some other time!" Sasori said, turning back to Deidara to continue their argument.

"See ya Hidan." Naruto said, but realized that the silver haired man was asleep – though he had absolutely no idea how, with all they yelling – so he just left without another word, Kyuubi right behind him.

The duo got in Kyuubi's car and made their way downtown to Ichiraku's, however, the car ride was too silent for the redheads liking, and found it strange that Naruto hadn't uttered a single word since entering the car.

"Why so quite Kit?" Kyuubi asked the blonde.

"I'm just tired. And I have a headache too. Damn, do Deidara and Sasori ever shut the fuck up?" Naruto shook his head, still astonished at how the two flat mates are able to live together.

The redhead chuckled. "Not really, actually no. Not ever. Wow, I wonder how they've been able to live together for so long." Kyuubi seemed to ponder this for a moment but then snapped his attention back to Naruto. "Anyway, let's get to Ichiraku's before they close for the night."

The two brothers stepped out of the car once they've arrived and made entered the ramen hut. They were sitting there and enjoying their food, especially Naruto. He was on his 4th bowl and was nowhere near full. It was like he was in heaven, partying with Jesus and having the orgy of his life. Oh how he missed Ichiraku's. He didn't even know how he was able to live without it for so long.

"So, you excited to start school tomorrow?" Kyuubi asked, finishing his one and only bowl of ramen.

"Are you seriously asking me that right now?" Naruto asked back, taking a break from eating to look at his brother.

"Well, I mean, uh. Aren't you excited to see your old friends? Like that dog lover and that genius…. What's his name? Shikamichi right?"

Naruto just rolled his eyes "It's ShikaMARU, not michi, and I guess I am, but I doubt they'll remember me. Even if they did, I bet they won't even associate themselves with me. I mean, look at me! I'm a fucking mess! They remember me as a 6 year old girl who loved life, always smiled, and didn't know when to shut her annoying fucking mouth, not a 17 year old guy, with stupid, ugly scars on his face and a shitty personality." The blonde pushed his food away and clenched his fists, seeming to lose his appetite and stood up. "I'm finished. Can we go?"

Kyuubi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He paid for the food and the brothers made their way back to the house, where they found their parents watching TV.

"Mom, Dad, we're home." Naruto called out, he was still a bit angry with the conversation he had with Kyuubi beforehand, but calmed down a bit since.

"Welcome home kids!" Kushina said, coming out of the living room to give her two boys suffocating hugs. "What did you guys do today?"

"We just enrolled… Naruto in school and… met up with… some friends. We also… already… ate so we're not… hungry…" Kyuubi choked out; his mother was just too strong for her own good, he seriously couldn't breathe.

"Aw how cute! Did you guys have fun?" Kushina squeaked excitedly.

"Mom…. can't…. breathe…" Naruto gasped, trying his hardest to get away from Kushina's death grip.

She released the boys immediately and smiled sheepishly, whispering a quiet "oops" to herself.

Kyuubi just chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess we had fun. Well, more like I had fun and little Naru-chan just sat there, slowly plotting multiple different ways to kill everyone."

"Naruto!" the redheaded woman gasped. "You know how I feel about you when you do things like that!"

"But mommmmmmmm" the blonde whined, "They just wouldn't SHUT. UP. The entirety of the time was literally spent with me sitting in between two people who are crazy obsessed with art and kept disagreeing with each other the whole time. And it wasn't even civilized either! It was like a fucking battlefield! There was shit flying EVERTYWHERE! They're worse than granny on one of her bad days! I mean, they're good people and everything, hell, they're super nice and funny, not to mention hot, but until they start talking about art, UGH, I just want to rip my fucking hair out!" The blonde finished, huffing and puffing, trying to calm himself down, knowing how badly his anger can get out of hand.

Kushina and Kyuubi just stared at the blonde in front of them. Who knew the kid had such a set of lungs? He didn't even take a breath between sentences; he just spurted everything out of his mouth like there was no tomorrow.

"Well um… I'm glad you had some fun." Kushina said hesitantly, knowing how Naruto gets if he gets too angry. She's been on the wrong end of his outbursts one to many times.

Minato chose this time to make himself known, and grace everyone with his presence.

"Hey, what's goin' on?"

"Naru's having a mental breakdown." Kyuubi replied calmly.

"AM NOT" Naruto yelled.

"Sure you are." The redheaded brother retorted, ruffling Naruto's hair.

"Uhh, yeah. Glad to see everyone's doing well." Minato said a bit awkwardly. "ANYWHO, it's getting late and I'm going to bed. Comin' babe?" The blonde looked over to his wife.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'." Said wife replied. "Goodnight you two, don't stay up too late Naru!" and then she was gone.

"Well kit, I'm gonna head back to my place. I'll be over here at 6 to make sure you're awake and ready for your first day. See ya." The redheaded hugged his brother briefly before leaving.

"Yeah, see ya nii-san." Naruto muttered after his Kyuubi shut the door, fully aware that redhead didn't hear him.

Naruto started up the stairs, heading his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and then to his own room. The whole way there, he just kept thinking to himself.

_"Ugh, this is just great. Now I have to go to school tomorrow. I hated school in Suna, so what makes mom and dad think I'll like school here? I mean, I guess it's cool to have a fresh start and everything though. Too much drama back there. Stupid Gaara. I swear, if anyone tries anything funny with me, I'll fucking clobber em', no matter who it is. Heh, only thing I'm looking forward to is seeing the look on everyone's faces when they see me. I mean, if they remember me that is. Well, whatever. Let's just get everything over with… ugh, what if… what if the same thing happens again here, like it did in Suna? No, it will defiantly not happen. I'll make sure of it. And Kyuu and Hidan and everyone else have my back, right? Right. Nothing will happen. I have nothing to worry about. Yup, nothing to worry about whatsoever. I'll just, take a shower and then smoke a bowl and everything will be fine."_

The blonde teen walked into the bathroom and hopped into the shower. He washed himself until he felt refreshed. Since he didn't need to re-bind himself when he was fully dry, he trudged his way to his room and locked the door. Only clad in his towl, he let it drop to the floor and looked at himself in the mirror disapprovingly.

_"Stupid boobs. Why do they have to be so big?_" he thought. _"I'd look so much better without them. And ugh, if I just had a fucking dick, everything would be perfect. Fuck being female, there's nothing great about it."_

Naruto put on a baggy t-shirt that had his favorite band on it and his sweats, not caring about underwear at the moment. He took out his stash of weed and his pipe and packed himself a nice bowl. He lit the drug and inhaled an impressive amount of smoke, letting his mind slip away into carefree, happy thoughts.

_"Yup, nothing's gonna ruin my day tomorrow. Nothing."_

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